Orgasms, Business, and Spirituality
Featured in Goss Magazine - Volume 13
The heat of his body pressed against me. He wove his fingers through mine pushing the back of my hands into the mattress. His lips brushed against my cheek and something in me shifted. I knew, there and then, it was going to happen.
At this point, it had been seven years of believing all the stories I’d told myself about how impossible it was, about how I was somehow broken…
And in that moment, I surrendered to his devotion of my body and the stories dissolved.
For 7 years I ran the programming that said “I don’t have orgasms from sex. I’m broken, sex is only enjoyable for men.” And I fully, unequivocally believed it. So what do you think I go? Yup, you guessed it, some pretty unrewarding, one-sided experiences in the
bedroom.
At the root of the belief system was low self worth.
What does this have to do with business and spirituality? So much.
Self worth is a vital part of being able to receive anything in life - from orgasms to success in business. Author and spiritual teacher Iyanla Vanzant says
“Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we thinkwe are worth.”
I’ve found, in over a decade of coaching and healing work, that highly sensitive souls who are here to do great things, often struggle immensely with low-self worth. Why? I hypothesize it has a lot to do with growing up sensitive and pain eating.
There is literally a pandemic of healers in this industry who are pain eaters. Since childhood they’ve been eating the pain for their mother who couldn’t process her depression…Or for their father who drank to cope with the pressure of being human.
They know they’ve incarnated to share their unique gifts and talents and they often struggle with balancing their soul goal to serve & their human need to receive.
They fall into patterns of giving too much, not charging their worth, working non-stop and burning themselves out chasing someone else’s version of success…
They pendulum swing between vast, consuming, nearly orgasmic inspiration to dark, challenging sadness and overwhelm.
“Who am I?”
“What will they think of me?”
“Who do I think I am to charge this much, share this work, get paid for this?”
Is written in many journals.
It can feel like they’re the only ones who struggle with growth and self-sabotage. And against their better judgement they drown themselves in late night cookie dough, doom scrolling stories peppered with botox smiles and half-naked yogi’s claiming how they’re making money while they sleep.
Every time they up-level, grow their business or step into a more visible version of themselves… A new self-worth activation happens. It’s natural and normal and uncomfortable and hell.
These highly sensitive souls childhood’s were laced with nuanced and dynamic experiences that’ve shaped them into the powerful coaches and healers the world needs.
However, no one benefits from a healer who’s forgotten their worth.
These healers and coaches know they need to have healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries around how they work, who they work with and who gets access to their precious energy.
It all comes back to the stories, the invisible hooks and belief systems that keep us all in loops of low-self worth. No story is the same, yet each story could share sentences and characters.
We each live with our own unique and dynamic challenges, opportunities and the shadows that live in the dark corners of our minds. We all have something we wish to hide away from the world. Something we carry that feels too heavy to share with anyone. For, if we did, we’re afraid we will be unlovable, rejected and shamed.
It’s here, in the darkness we find our power once again. It’s in the shadows and the heaviness that power lives. When we decided wholly and fully that we are worthy. Not only when we are healed and whole but, we are worthy in our messy humanness. We increase our self-worth. We send a massive neon sign to the universe that says
“I’m here, I am worthy and I am ready to receive.”
Self-worth is a dance we’re all invited to. It’s a little ease, a lotta grace and a dash of cha cha.
When you’re a highly sensitive coach and healer who knows you’re here to do great things and “help people” the best way to do that is to help yourself first. Not in the traditional “self-love” bubble bath sense, but in a devotional sense. Your power is found in the willingness to know your growth is directly proportional to how willing you are to see your own shit without running away.
When we are willing, in my personal and profession opinion, to collect all the parts and pieces of self that we’ve exiled to shame island. When we lean into acceptance of what is we open doors where there were previously only walls.
What are you hiding from the world because you are afraid you will be rejected and shamed if you share it? Are you willing to love and unleash that part of you?
What if you accepted it all and then decided right here and now to be willing to see it differently? Can you feel the shift in your body?
Because when you do, when you place your armor of stories down on the earth and walk past them.
Life will throw you down on a mattress, weave its hands in yours and who knows…
Orgasmic Miracles just may happen.
Is this striking a chord? Do you yearn to upgrade your self worth by setting exquisite boundaries? Setting healthy boundaries is like the master key that sets the tone for how much you’re able to hold and receive. Join us in BL🌻🌻M, a monthly women’s space and community circle.
The last day to register is May 27th - when registration will be closed until the fall!
